Thursday, January 31, 2008

shaky

I've had a very anxiety-ridden day today. I'm feeling sick and I just can't seem to shake it. I have dealt with this for a long time, and even though I have been/am treated for it, I still dip into short spells where it plagues me from a few hours to a day or more. It is one of the most uncomfortable, unsettling, frustrating feelings -- to not be able to calm myself -- and these kinds of days put me in the worst mood. One of the things I hate most about anxiety is that it is so hard, nearly impossible, to pinpoint the cause...nothing "bad" has happened to me today, or even recently; and in fact I've had a lot of good news this week. But I guess sometimes things hit me all at once and I can't process it correctly. It feels like sometimes my body doesn't know how to react to things that happen..like it can't tell one incoming message from another and everything is at the same volume. And it is hard to remember that even "good" stress is still stress on the body and mind.

I don't have a thing worth complaining about in my life, but today I'm down. I don't know why I'm posting about this... talking about what I'm feeling always seems to help. Almost as much as a combination of Nathan and my favorite foods, such as cheese and butter and salt. The top 3 food groups in my diet.

Sometimes I really hate not having a window in my office.

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